Becoming an Authentic Architect: Shaping a New Reality by Moving Beyond Adoption

Jun 3 / Kat Linquist

Are you sick and tired of living in the House of Adoption Trauma (HAT)?

In the House of Adoption Trauma, your heart aches, your body is tense, and your mind races or is numbed out. 

You are constantly searching for relief in one form or another.  It feels like life is happening TO YOU and is outside your control.

As an infant or child, you were brought into the HAT … (whether you knew it or not), and it impacts your life daily because you don’t know how to live any other way.    

I know the House of Adoption Trauma is NOT where you WANT to live anymore.

My question is…. Are you Ready to MOVE and Build Your OWN House?

Building an Authentically Thriving “House” Requires a Blueprint

Imagine you are setting out to build your own House.   Your DREAM HOUSE, to be exact.  You are not happy where you are living right now, so you decided to move and build a new house. 
Even though you are not an Architect, you decide to take on this endeavor.

You have a vision of what you want, and you really have a strong desire to move out of the place you are now.  Your new House will be a place where all your hopes, dreams, and desires come true.   

Do you know how to create the blueprint for this Dream House?

But you think to yourself: “I’ve lived in houses or apartments my whole life, and I have a basic idea of what needs to be done – foundation, walls, roof, plumbing, electrical, etc…  I’m going to give it a go!  I want to make my dream house come true. 

I I’ll have a positive attitude!  I'll work hard. 

Well, my friends, unless you have a clear and specific blueprint, construction knowledge and information, and experienced support to build this Dream House, you will face enormous challenges. 

A positive attitude is fine.  Hard Work is ok.  But without the blueprint which gives you the guidance and directions to do something you have never done before, you will have a difficult time.

The one good thing you have in building an ACTUAL house is the ability to hire other people to do the work for you.

However, when it comes to building and creating your LIFE to be different than what it is now, YOU are the only one who can do the work. 

While there are certainly resources and people who can guide and support you along the way, such as my Adoptee Self Love Mastery Program, ultimately, you must become the Authentic Architect of your own life.

And you GET to be not only the Architect, but the builder, decorator, gardener, and owner.  It is Truly YOUR House, Your Life.

Are You Willing to Become the Intentional Authentic Architect of Your Life?

If you do not become an Authentic Architect, you will either continue to live in the House of Adoption Trauma you have already built (from what was handed to you), or you find yourself doing a lot of trial and error in the construction of the new life you are trying to build as you go along. 

I know… Because I’ve done it! 

Most adoptees (and in fact, most people in general ) do not approach living their Life from a highly intentional place, and do not start out life being an Authentic Architect.

You start out life with what you observe and are taught growing up (this becomes the foundation). 

Then you add in your teen and adult lived experience (this creates the structure),

And finally you live out your life in this House repeating the beliefs, patterns and habits you developed along the way – ALL of which are based in the Root Trauma of Adoption.

When the pain becomes great enough, you desire to move away from the pain and want to have something different.   

You can no longer live in the house of “Adoption Trauma”.  But where can you go?  What can you build? How do you become Authentic?

This was my experience when I got divorced.   I knew anything would be better than the Pain I had been living in for so many years.  And even though I was scared and filled with anxiety,  I stepped out into the unknown, and just began where I was. 

Little by little I was able to move myself up the Emotional Scale,  even though I  was still in the FOG about my Adoption Trauma.  I didn’t realize it was impacting me so deeply and had been all my life.

Next, I began to learn about the Laws of the Universe and how Energy works. My heart resonated deeply with the information and shifted my life trajectory in small increments.
I loved myself more.  I set boundaries to protect myself emotionally and physically.  I stood my ground for what I needed and believed in. 
Soon,  I was becoming an Authentic Architect creating my life with intention and from a more positive emotional place.

This analogy of the House of Adoption Trauma holds true for many adoptees who try to build your sense of self or Self-Love without a clear plan or support.

While you have lived experience and understand the basics, moving beyond adoption to create your authentic self requires a structured approach.

It involves more than just living day-to-day or having a positive attitude. 

It is about making a commitment to move beyond the identity of Occupying the House of Adoption Trauma and embrace the identity of Owning the House of Authentically Thriving.

Look for the Next Blog:  Designing the Blueprint for your New Habit-HAT

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